"We Are Not Here to Socialize!"

I am sorry everyone, but I am going to have to gripe.  I hate bitchy blog posts, but I just can't contain myself anymore.  I am so sick of ignorant people who, when they find out that we are homeschooling, ask:

"How are you going to socialize them?"
"What about socialization?"
"Do they have any friends?"

My children love and respect all people, and go out of their way to greet people, talk with them, and make new friends.  And on a daily basis, we are met with the products of public school socialization.  People who refuse to even acknowledge that my children exist, children who refuse to play with my children because they don't know them already, people who completely ignore a greeting.

We were at the park yesterday, and a lovely group of children arrived.  My four year old son ran over to them, introduced himself, and started talking.  The children weren't mean, they just weren't used to socialization (I later found out they went to public school, go figure)  They stared at him, not sure what to think, and not responding to any of his queries.  He continued to speak to them, and when they figured out he was not a threat, they smiled and listened, but did not respond.  eventually, after about an hour of playing together at the same park, they began to speak with us, but only to answer questions with brief responses.

We are not always so fortunate to come across children who behave this way.  Many of them are downright nasty, and before even exchanging a names, they make it clear that they will not play with someone who is not a part of their existing group.

Socialization for homeschooled and unschooled children is not a problem.  My kids love to socialize with people of all ages, races, economic statuses, and sizes.  Socialization is a problem for the public school child, who spends the majority of their day surrounded by people of the same age, from the same town, and is regularly told by the teacher, "We are not here to socialize."

End of Rant.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Bonsai Children

I have a fondness for bonsai trees.  They are quite amazing, and if  I had the patience to grow them, or money to buy them, my home would certainly be a bonsai forest.

As I was sitting and thinking of the techniques used in growing bonsais:  The pruning, trimming, clamping, and wiring.  And thinking also of the outcome:  The size, the artificial appearance of maturity, the constant care that is required.  I compared these aspects to those of their wild counterparts, which are tall and majestic, with spreading branches, elaborate root systems, and no need for human hands to care for them.

Is it unfair for me to draw these same comparisons between the schooled mind, and the mind that was free to learn for itself?

 At school, children are shaped into a form that may not be natural for them, but is acceptable to society.  They acquire an appearance of maturity, but it is merely an illusion based in fear.  They are kept contained for 6 hours (or more) a day so that your roots cannot reach deep into the ground, and find their own source of happiness.  Without school, children are limited only by their nature.  They are free to become themselves, whether that be a shrub or a sequoia, they will be themselves, and in that, there is much joy.

The main difference is that the growth of the bonsai gives a sense of joy and accomplishment to the grower, while the growth of the wild tree gives a sense of accomplishment and joy to the tree.

Are You Qualified to Teach Your Children?

When people find out that our children are home-schooled (Well, unschooled actually) They usually respond by shifting the conversation to a more comfortable topic, such as...well, anything but homeschooling.  However, when speaking to less timid folks, the conversation can quickly turn into an interrogation.

"Whats wrong with the schools in our community?"
"Didn't you go to public school?"
"How will your children learn to socialize?"
"How will they learn to take instruction?"
"How will they learn discipline?"
"How will they get a job without a diploma?"

And then there is my personal favorite, "What makes you think you are qualified to teach your children?"

When I was first confronted with this question, I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to answer it.  I came up with all kinds of legitimate answers, as well as finding statistics comparing the performance of home-schoolers to children taught in public school.  But no matter what answer I came up with, it still didn't feel right.

I then realized something that has completely changed the way I look at my children's education.  I am NOT qualified to teach them.  My critics were right all along, I do not have what it takes to educate my own children.  But the good news is, they are qualified to learn.  Every child has within them the capacity to learn from their surroundings, without school, without a curriculum, and without a teacher.  So maybe you don't have a teaching degree, but don't let that stop you from allowing your curious, and resourceful children from learning naturally, and with joy, on a daily basis.

"Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom."   -Albert Einstein,

 (Photo:  www.Futuristmovies.com)